My dreams written down. What is my unconscious trying to tell me?

Friday, December 18, 2009

Morning of 19th December - Short Nap

Nana and me are walking past a pool. We're in Hawaii; it must be a family vacation as our baby is with us. We're walking toward the beach, but decide we'll have a swim in the pool first. Nana stands on the diving board and it snaps (I'd watched a film the previous day where the same thing happens to Russell Crowe). I jump in and get her - and do not recall the next sequence at all.
We've been swimming in the sea and are now finished. My baby is toddler's age in the dream (although in waking life she is a newborn) , and we are drying her off. Somehow a cape and hat of sand have been made for her, and we are assured this is the best way to dry as she toddles off in front of us, the sand sieving off the cape as she goes. We are passing the pool again, and being covered in sand, decide to dip in to wash it off. There is another family in the pool, 3 people, but I only really notice the male - the rest are inferred, or not visually noticed. I stare at him as we walk past, making no attempt to say hello; contrarily, I suddenly feel I need to impress myself upon the other man, and establish myself as the alpha male. I strut, looking down at my own puffed chest I see I'm wearing black trunks. The man and his family are at the head of the pool; Nana, out in front of me, is circling around the foot of the pool, and I'm tracking her path. We dive in not at the head, but close to it at the high end of the right side of the pool; the man is on the left side. I dive in and make a round of the pool - much as a boxer makes a round of the ring when he gets in - and do it in a graceful swirling stroke. I'm suprised at my prowess with this stroke: I feel strong, and glide through the water faster than expected. I feel the man must be impressed.
One circuit completed, I return the right side of the head of the pool, and decide to do a length underwater, holding my breath. After the previous display, and realization of my swimming strength, I'm very confident that this will be easy. I showboat a little, slowing down my decent into the water, after a modest inhale of air; wishing to stamp my superiority with a little panache. Before even beginning my swim to the other end, I realize as soon as I'm under water that I don't have enough air to get going. And my previous athleticism in the pool has also gone: I don't feel as though one push against the wall would glide me to the other side in no time. But I frantically try to boost from the wall as best I can - I doesn't get me more than a body length forward, and I now feel my oxygen gone completely. I struggle, there's no way I'm going to come up early. The air is really gone, my body attempts to respirate - pure reflex. Some water comes in through my nose. Choking I surface.

I'm shocked that this is the first time I've ever inhaled underwater. That's never happened before.

We are in an Egyptian exhibit, but the building is not a museum - it seems to be a hospital ward. Nana and the baby go off in front, as I'm interested in one display exhibit - an ancient King's sword - and want to linger. I suspect another reason is that I'm attracted to the tour guide who is explaining the pieces.
She is a middle aged woman, with an asian look, but not explicitly oriental. She looks a bit worn and tired - bored of the job. But what I really notice are her plump breasts, and slim figure. I think I am genuinely interested in the sword too, however.
I attract her attention, and comment that it looks like a Roman Gladius (it doesn't exactly as I see later). I want her to notice my reference, and without me telling her, I want her to know that I know the Gladius is more modern than an Egyptian sword, and that the Gladius itself was not Roman, but perhaps Celtic. She doesn't notice - she doesn't really understand my comment, as though she knows nothing of history. I say again, this time altering my pronunciation of "Gladius." She tells me something unrelated, and I'm a little frustrated (because I haven't established I'm a bit knowledgeable).
I change my tack, and ask her a question: where did the Egyptians get steel from this early? She again replies with some completely different information. I repeat; she again does not understand, or does not want to engage. I notice her English is certainly spoken as a second language, and repeat my question in Japanese - and I embellish it, in Japanese, with the qualifications: "did they make steel themselves?"; "or, did they import from another state?" I genuinely want to know if the Egyptians had the technical ability to make steel. She seems confused by my questioning, and a little annoyed by it.
I see the exhibit more clearly - it is not shaped like a Gladius as I first took it to be, it is more like a diamond from the card suit, although asymmetric: the blade is slightly longer than the hilt. Its shape reminds me of a chalice; even the holy grail.

The lady and me are over by a window overlooking the Hawaiian mountains and bay - there are a few concrete tower blocks in view, and it is not picturesque at all. She sits down on a bed (hospital style bed) and I sit on the adjoining one. She begins to talk about how she doesn't like her job and isn't interested in its subject. She continues to complain about work. I notice her breasts again and again think, although with no real conviction, that I'd like to fuck her. She complains that she is so tired, and gets so sleepy; and I see this as a chance to shift the conversation away from her and her work, and introduce my personality to it (impress her). I agree, laughing, and tell her that 3 and 4 (p.m.) are the hardest hours to get through - I hold up my right hand as I say "3 and 4", showing three fingers, palm side to her, then four, swiveling my four fingered hand to show the back. I'm sure that this will elicit a smile, or some concession, from her, and from there I can seduce and have her. It does not work.

I wake.

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