My dreams written down. What is my unconscious trying to tell me?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Night of 22nd November 2009

The other special forces recruits are running ahead of me, I'm in the middle of the group - the first placed finishers of this operation will make the cut, everyone else will be gotten rid of. We are running on an open plain, and come upon the gas test. Ahead of us there is a white fog of noxious gas, front running recruits begin to fall away, unable to take the gassing (we have no protection, this is a test of endurance and pain suppression). This is my chance to win, I have to get through the gas, the others seem unable to endure it. I'm sprinting through the gas and feel it killing me but I continue. The large group has been decimated and I can't see anyone in front of me, beside me, around me. I sprint through the gas.
I've made it to the other side, and am met by a drill sergeant. He doesn't speak but shows me a ground schematic. Without rest, I know I have to ambush the people shown in the schematic. The ground is like a small park: there is a huge mound of dirt to my right, a few meters high, it seems man made, or an adaption of a natural formation; there is a tree in front of me. The schematic the drill sergeant handed me was faithful to these features, it was a blue sketch on white paper, a plan view of the mound with the location of the hostiles indicated by thick circles. Some other recruits trail in from behind, and I'm eager to get the mission completed and win. I instantly recognize I can climb up the tree and snipe the targets from above; I leap over-enthusiastically for the tree's lowest branch. It looked simple enough to scale, but for some reason I can't get my body up and on the first branch. I hang upside down, swinging like a pendulum - incapable of righting myself and getting up the tree. It's shocking that I can't get up the tree - I can't understand why it is so hard.
I'm scaling the mound, and have gotten to the top. I have my rifle ready. Peeping over, I take a look to see if I can spot my targets. I see 5 (I think, I can't properly recall) circles, what look like barrel, or keg, tops, partially buried in the ground - only the top 20% of them is protruding. The kegs are made of wooden planks with metal rings around the tops, and are not empty but seem to be full of thickly packed heavy soil. Behind each keg is a person.
For some reason, I am now looking down on them from a vantage point up in the tree. I have to clearly identify each person for the drill sergeant to make sure they are the people I'm supposed to assassinate. I have my weapon ready to present. In the dream I very clearly identified each one, and was shown a close up of each - and remember doing this very slowly, purposefully, and lucidly. However, the information is lost on me now (in waking). I think there were two middle aged men, two middle aged women (one with short brown hair), and a child. The adults were very portly. I do remember how harmless they seemed; and how in tune with nature they seemed. I think they may have been tending little wood fires in front of themselves. And perhaps the older ones were married (two couples).
I'm now at the picket fence, and the surroundings, although the same place, are different - like a seashore cliff. The previous drill park is behind me. There is long grass and sandy, rocky earth. It is warmer and I'm aware of the drop behind the unadorned wooden picket fence. There is a hole in the fence, and I leave through it, still in my military fatigues and with my sniper's gun.

We're in the ground floor of the apartment, in our beds. There are three of us: me, against the back wall facing the other two beds and the front door; and the other two backs against the wall - the front door is to the right of them (my left) and there is a window looking out on to the street behind the right person's bed. I think this is the down time before going out; but we are in bed. We are friendly and are having some banter. The person who's bed was nearest the door is out of bed and getting ready to go - goading me to get up and out of bed too. He is a young, early 20s, alabaster skinned skinny boy, with fair, brown and red, hair (the same color as the adults previously). I think he is gay, or homo-erotic in some way. He is wearing nothing but some black spandex pants, like tights but not see through, and is horsing around. He jumps on my bed - landing on his right side, in a sleeping position (legs bent, arms bent). I can see his testicles slightly protruding out between his legs/buttocks, and reach over with my left hand and squeeze them, reciprocating the horse play. He is instantly very angered by this and jumps up, shouting insults at me. I'm a bit confused. He is now near the door, still remonstrating at me.
The person in the other bed was a girl (a young woman), and she has made her way toward me. She hands me a red lighter (a cheap butane lighter, like the ones you buy at the convenience store). Suddenly the lighter is huge - the size of a television remote control (more like two side by side). The lighter is rested on the headboard of my bed, or on a bedside table, and is back to normal size. I wake.

{I woke very early in the morning; something that has never happened before}

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